After a somewhat tiresome day spent evading the humans futile attempts to outwit me and dress me up as a Morticia Addams, I felt the need for liquid enhancement. Incidentally, a slight digression to my tale, but I have recently joined the Twitter place thing and I must say that I saw some rather marvellous outfits today. Hounds, I salute you!

Anyway, following the day’s shenanigans I swiftly escaped to the pub for a few restorative gin slings and jaunty chatter.

Some hours later and feeling much restored and safe in the knowledge the humans would be happily snoring and whiffling on the sofa, I tip-pawed back with my thoughts firmly trained on the contents of the fridge. It is at this point of the evening, post pub, that my attention obviously turns to cheese, otherwise known as the life giving dairy nectar of the gods. I must confess that I have a bit of a weakness for cheese and all its cholesterol enhancing goodness.

After peering at the slumbering numpties, I slunk off to begin my assault on the fridge. Luckily I have a long and somewhat pointy nose which is really good for winkling open forbidden drawers and cupboards. It proved especially masterful in gaining access to the custard creams before they were banned.

Having gained access I perused the special box that houses the cheese. A somewhat meagre collection but then I spied my favourite cheddar…oh happy days!

Not wanting to alert the humans to my cheesy visitation I cleverly chose to delicately nibble all the edges and not give in to my urge to sink my gnashers into the middle of the chunk of dairy love.

It was just as I was clearing my whiskers of any crumbs that I heard a noise and had the shock of my life to find both humans stood in the doorway, arms folded and lips pursed. How they managed to stay so quiet is anybody’s guess, especially the short one who is always crashing about the place like the woman in the infamous ‘two soups’ sketch.

Suffice to say I was encouraged out of the kitchen…alas my cheesy dreams dashed…for the time being anyway…I will assume the position of the forlorn prawn and rest, I think I have one of my ‘heads’.