Dearest pals! I have VERY exciting news! 

I have been attempting to update my new website for all my jaunty dairy entries, and it has been a difficult few weeks as I am not renowned for my technological know how. Show me a squirrel and I shall form a battle plan…show me a bottle of Dubbonet and I will make you a perfect gin cocktail…but alas show me a list of technical instructions and I will blink blankly at the screen, gently break wind and wander off.

I lay prostrate over my laptop keyboard, keening and gently rocking from side to side, when hero of the hour, Hector, scooped me upon his arms, laid me down on the sofa and offered me a custard cream. All I could manage at this point was to loosely suck on one corner of the custardy raft of love, latching on like an indifferent infant asleep at the breast.

Normally I would enthusiastically snaffle a custard cream, dew claw pinkie sticking out like I was taught to do in the Swiss finishing school before expulsion. Hector was alarmed at this show of apathy in the face of snacks and called Muvver over from whatever horrendous things she would be doing (and she was).

They both surveyed me with frowns of deep worriment and consternation. Not even an impromptu rendition of Puff the Magic Dragon (with Hector harmonising and tooting on the ocarina) could quell my dejected heart. Is there anything as soul destroying as I.T?

Hector called an emergency kitchen table meeting and we gathered (well, I drooped) around a steaming pot of Earl Grey.  The fragrant tea steam wafted its way towards me and revived me somewhat, so much so that I could lift my pointy head from the table top and position myself to receive soothing earsie scruffles.

I was assured that it was perfectly permissible for a hound to ask for help in all things website related so I finally gave in and requested help from the source themselves, the mighty band of online helpers that limp people through technological disaster and despair. 

They refer to themselves as happiness engineers…

It is at this point that I lost my tiny Spindly plot. After spending several weeks trying to work out what to do, the frustration had built to a boiling crescendo…and the idea that a ‘happiness engineer’ even existed was a red rag to my damaged sensibilities. It took some time for me to calm down, and I have Hector to thank for his breathing techniques that he picked up at his flying, jumping yogi sessions. 

There is nothing worse than someone being unnecessarily cheerful in the face of technical befuddlement…it is excruciating. Nevertheless, I relented and several emails later, my semi saviour emerged in the form of Brin, and he has changed my life for the better. 

After a few correspondences, I had emotionally invested my soul in Brin, but I had a nagging doubt that he might have been a clever algorithm that was answering my strange questions and mollifying my confused pointy brow. I decided to ask him directly (through the medium of the keyboard) as to the state of his existence. He claims that he is indeed a human bean…but he is still too unnaturally perky so I do wonder.  

Once it became clear to him the level of understanding that we had to work with, things began to move like a tranquillised tortoise. Eventually through the medium of electronic letter writing, we crept slowly and then furtively scuttled our way towards a new website. You may see that I referred to Brin as a semi saviour, and that is because I must also give my thanks here to Hector. He very calmly sat with me as we followed pages of instructions and suggested coding and soothed me through several emotional storm bursts, within which I am not ashamed to say…I wept a little. BUT! It is done!

From my first arrival at Spindle Towers, I have written in excess of 90 stories about my misadventures with my new family and assorted misfit pals (aubergine wielding nuns, buttock toupee wearing huskies to name a couple of them), and there will of course be many more to come. 

You may, if you wish read all of them for free, but if you would like to, you can make a small contribution to my donation page if you have enjoyed reading them. I can heartily assure that that all funds will go towards keeping me in duck treats, custard creams and UV reflective bonnets, and will be received with many thanks and a little happy dance.

Please be sure to save spindlehound.uk to your favourites!

There are also links to my Instagram and Twitter accounts on the home page if you are a real glutton for punishment.

Pip pip me hearties!